The title says it all.
I was behind schedule today. We took a nap at midmorning, and before I knew it it was already 12 noon. I rushed to bathe, then fixed everything we needed for your bath.
It was all going so well – in fact, this was only the second time ever that you did not cry when l washed your face. Then I proceeded to wash your hands – still no reaction. Then I opened your diaper, and as expected it was really wet, but there wasn’t much poop in there.
I should have known. You were giving me this all too familiar look of concentration, and you were making these wheezy grunting sounds.
As l was leaning down cleaning your bottom, you farted and out came a small eruption of yellow poop that spilled just within the edge of our rubber mat. Of course, l was surprised, but I was prepared to deal with it calmly. I fetched a wad of wet tissues and wiped it all off.
Then another grunt, and from your innocent little bottom came an arc of so much yellow poop that landed directly on my thighs and dripped down my calves and my white felt slippers.
At first l could not believe what just happened; I just wanted to freeze until someone shouted “Cut!”, or “Just kidding!” But nobody did, and then you peed, your pee another arc that this time landed on the edge of the mat and spilled on the bed.
So there I was with poop dripping down my legs, scooting over a messy bed with a half-bathed half-soiled and very wet baby, so I did the only thing l could – l quickly wiped off most of the poop from my leg, stepped off the soiled slippers, and finished your bath. Then I got you all dried up and dressed, and as always, l breastfed you to make sure you get warm before putting you to nap.
And what happened to the mess, you ask? Well, by the time you got warm and settled down, your Yaya had cleaned it all up.